Growing Up 'Vulcan'
by elrond peredhel
Summary: It's the week of Spock and Kirk's Birthdays, Jim asks for a Mind-Meld as his present from Spock.  My first ever ST fic, so be nice please! If anyone has a better title, please message me! Not sure if there will be more to this, reviews will sway me...


"**Don't cry out loud.**

**Just keep it inside**

**And learn how to hide **

**Your feelings"**

Don't Cry Out Loud- The Boy from Oz

"They said you were a traitor, for marrying Mother." Spock looked up at his father's face warily, forgetting that if Sarek was angry, he certainly wouldn't show it. At last, not past a tightening of the lips and flare of the nostrils that Spock had come to learn meant he was upset. Neither of these signs was present, as father and son studied each other, despite the obvious apprehension writ large on Spock's face.

He had tried to be Vulcan, tried so hard not to let his classmates' insults hurt him and for a time, his breathing exercises worked, had kept his emotions detached, allowing him to ignore the bullies. But they never worked for long enough- Vulcans didn't get bored of receiving no reaction, instead it seemed to spur them on, make them more determined to provoke one. He flew at them then; one small, under-grown half-human against three larger, full–blooded Vulcan boys. The strength of his rage and injustice helped him to ensure he was not the only one now dripping coppery green blood over the medical room's floor, but his lack of size inevitably proved his undoing as the two boys he hadn't managed to throw across the learning pods decided it would only be logical to pin him down between them as their friend completed his assault.

Now after a severe beating and quick patch-up in the medical centre, Spock sat on a carved bench in the corridor outside the (matriarch's) office, desolate and shamed. Noticing the tear trickling down his son's cheek as he studied his knees, Sarek sighed almost imperceptibly and gently wiped the offending liquid away.

"Spock. You are a child of two worlds, I understand that, and am grateful for it, but you must learn to control your emotions. Vulcan is a place of peace and learning- we cannot keep it that way if our minds dwell on chaos and conflict." He held up a hand to forestall his son's angry outburst. "It is natural to want to explore both sides of your heritage, to experiment with the more Human aspects of yourself, but whilst you dwell on Vulcan you must _be _Vulcan. No matter how great your mental discipline becomes, you will always be a source of conflict among our people Spock; looking like a Vulcan and yet acting like a Human will not be tolerated. You know this to be true." He nodded briefly, already anticipating Spock's next question. "Your mother is fully Human, and although our marriage is unorthodox, it is accepted as logical for the Ambassador to Earth to bond with a Terran woman. I have learnt much of Human nature and culture from your mother."

Spock played with his hands for a minute, absorbing and considering everything his father had told him, before facing his father again.

"You married mother to learn about humans?"

Sarek raised his eyebrows slightly, "a logical conclusion, but no." Spock cocked his head in interest, "I married Amanda because I love her." Eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before control brought them back to neutrality. "Then I will try harder to control my emotions."

Spock opened his eyes and removed his fingers from James Kirk's psych-points. "Wow… I never realised how emotional you could be, I mean, you control them so well we all kinda thought you didn't have emotions…" Jim trailed off, embarrassed at admitting so.

"Well now you know Captain. You wished to know why I followed the teachings of Surak, instead of succumbing to emotion. That, I believe, was the most influential reason; to learn how to be accepted in my society was one, but the knowledge that even my father retained some emotion was… comforting."

Jim grinned, "Well Spock, I know that was my birthday present, so thank you. I know it was a bold request and I'm lucky you agreed to it, but perhaps I could ask for one more thing?" Spock's eyebrow rose, his head cocked slightly in agreement as he waited for his Captain- and friend's- request. "Come to the party tonight, and smile."

Both eyebrows rose this time.

"You wish me to attend a party, and show emotion, in public? Jim, I…"

"You got it!" He clapped Spock's shoulder, "See you there Spock, it's a joint party and there is no way we can hold it without you. Just think about Bones' face when you smile at him and say thanks for your gift!" As Kirk sailed out of his friend's quarters he swore there was a ghost of a grin across the Vulcan's features. The crew sure as Hell didn't know what he'd just let them in for…


End file.
